“The greatest deterrent
to freedom are men and women of zeal, well-meaning, but
without knowledge or understanding.”
~Justice Louis Brandeis~

"People are so quick to defend their own agendas, but they so often fail to realize we must protect the rights of all if we are to continue to have any rights of our own."

Ranch meaning, in general, any real world dwelling probably not involving full care board. Kind of a rural voice of real horse owners, trainers, traders, auction owners, rodeo contractors, etc.. all of us who have taken a verbal beating and called greedy ass hats. Back at the Ranch contributors, moderators, subjects, and so on, are pro-horse, pro-owner, and pro-slaughter.
Back at the Ranch was formed by a group of like minded horse / livestock owners. It is a place for us to try to educate, a place to vent our frustrations with the current equine industry, a place to share humor and snark, and in general try to open the eyes of the public who seem to be anti-agriculture.We do have a section for comments of course, and if you would like to email us you can do so directly or through the contact us form. We like to hear from our readers. I hope you enjoy reading our blog as much as I enjoy managing it.
Ranch Manager

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Saturday Satire - The Anything for a Buck Rescue…..

I have been informed by several members of the New Humane Horse Culture, the times they are a changin and I had best learn to fit or get a real job so I can afford to treat my horses as they do theirs. I don’t know if I should be amused or insulted by this. Mostly I am amused. Sometimes I get a little pissy over it. It is automatically assumed my horses are treated badly since I am pro-horse business for profit. This profit motivation could have something to do with buying my own feed, paying for my own fuel, those pesky truck payments, and the fact I have developed a bad habit of liking to eat and sleep indoors. Like those who tell us horse people to get a real job, I feel I should be paid for what I took the time to learn and do relatively well. My horses don’t complain so things must not be all that bad here. I am the one with the feed bucket so they do tend to like me at least twice a day.
I’ve always jokingly referred to my operation as The Anything for a Buck Foundation but I must not be doing it quite right. I have to smarten up on this deal or I’ll be working, riding, and carrying on much as I have until osteoporosis sets in and I am swept up in little crumbly pieces from the arena dirt.
The Rescues Ready for Adoption Over $1,000 section on any internet horse forum rubs my fur wrong………on a lot of levels……..It’s been a long, long time since scale price was anywhere close to $1,000 for any horse. I assume the rescue had these horses donated or bought them from someone who “might” take them to the auction. You know what happens to all of them. I don’t care if you trade horses but stop skirting the issue and call it what it is. As I said I have been informed the times they are a changin’…….. I have decided the Anything for A Buck Foundation needs its own adoptions over $1,000 section……..It needs to become the Anything for a Buck Rescue……And please bear with me, although I have been selling horses a long time…… this is my first attempt at “adopting one out”……he is such sweet boy…..and his name is Blair. I didn’t take before pictures of Blair so as not embarrass him later on.

Blair’s Story I was born in 1999.
The man owned my mother before me. I was sent away as younger horse to a person who sat on my back and asked me to do things. I thought this was kind of interesting but I didn’t get to stay long. My owner said something to the rider person about me not needing anything fancy since I was just going to be a stud and trail horse. He thought I was doing fine after the first month and took me back home. I am not really sure what a trail horse is because I mainly ran in the pen with his broodmares. We had several babies that were taken away and sold. I really didn’t care when they were weaned. Once they were gone, mares stopped snapping at me to stay away from the little rats. (Oops a little reality setting in) Back to the rescue mode…… I missed my young sons and daughters terribly. I worried about them and where they would go in the big world so young and untrained.
After a few years of this I heard the man talking to another man who smelled like drugs and blood about how horrible the market was. “Didn’t need a stud anymore, going to sell the mares, just keep me to ride”…….I had surgery. After that I didn’t care about the mares the way I used to. They were still fun to gather up and stand next to but that’s all. Winter came and we were cold and hungry….. The mares and I were loaded on a trailer then tied in a pen and taken into the ring one by one. There were lots of other horses there that day too. I have no idea what happened to any of them. The trader man who bought me talked to the lady who felt my legs in the pen after I was led out of the ring. She put me in a trailer out of the rain. I went to a place where I have had plenty to eat. I have been doing a lot of that riding thing again. She tells me I am smart and honest. She says I’m a good boy. I try hard to make her happy since I know she saved my life. I can only pray the same was done for some of my pasture mates and the other horses there that day. I am afraid not. I am ready to make some new cowgirl or cowboy a good forever friend for the adoption fee……….Over $1,000…..payable on approval of your ability to love and care for me as I deserve. Decisions of the Anything for a Buck Rescue staff are final in the matter…….

How’s that? Remember it’s my first attempt at “rescue” dialog. I’m used to the simple horse dealer way of putting it. I bought this horse thin and riding green, covered with cheap tack, and stupid. I wasn’t really paying attention to the sale but kind of heard the top side pedigree and like his breeding. I asked Jimmy, I am on the first name basis with the killer buyer. I started colts for his uncle for many years…to see the papers, went outside, checked his legs and his teeth, (don’t want a cripple, cribber, or a parrot mouth), offered him the next bid, switched the horse over to my number in the office and handed Jimmy the $15 difference and the deal is done.
I wormed, fed, floated, clipped, and trimmed. He’s had a good education the last few months. I really like his mind and his work ethic. I bought him to sell and now he’s fit, legged up, broke to ride, and ready to go.
If I don’t get him sold at home he’ll go back to the auction but this time he will have a different sales position. It will be a reputation sale and instead of being worth $15 over scale he’ll be in the Adoptions over $1,000 category even at the auction. He’s not a rescue, he’s a cute little saddle horse, broke bay gelding ready to go to work. It ain’t rocket science, it’s horsemanship……anyone with a check book can do it……that is if you’re feeling frisky enough to take a horse from start to broke……..take your chances if he’s education deprived instead of suicidal and stupid……..it’s been done the same way for years…….different words………same game……. Or as we heard in another political whining match “a pig with lipstick is still a pig”.
written by R.H1


  1. Not bad for your first attempt. You're missing some of the key phrases, though. "Bail" and "ransom" will get you some better results, and the threat of him going to slaughter is always a nice touch. Your back story could use a little work, too. He hasn't had a bad enough life to warrant a "saveathon". Unfortunately for him, he's just a good little guy, broke to ride, and ready to go. Had he gone through abuse and perhaps your eyes had met across the crowded sales barn, maybe he'd ahve a better chance at rescue. But, this is your first time out, and you'll do better with the next one.

  2. Have to say I LOVE the first comment! LOL. Yes the "rescue/adoption" ad should be more URGENT too. He is a really cute gelding too.

  3. I'm in agreement, too. It seems as if no one can sell a horse anymore. It's almost a requirement that the horse has to have come from some sort of abusive situation. If you throw the Amish under the bus, or talk about the abusive past owners it's a huge bonus! Then add a time limit for drama, and use words like those in the first comment, and you'll have a much better chance at selling a horse than if you place an ad for a well broke one. I think that alone shows what is wrong with the Industry today. People want drama, not a good broke horse.

  4. Please dont judge all rescues by those who ask high adoption fees. Personally, I have NEVER asked for adoption fees on any of our animals although we put hundreds and thousands into them. No fee but life-time contracts must be signed. Real rescue is about the safety of the animal and should NEVER be run like a profit driven business,...though some rescues do I know. Important to remember, not all.

  5. Mz. Many Names, I agree that we should not judge all rescues by those who charge these fees, and I for one do not. But with so many of them popping up, it gives the legitimate ones a bad name, don't you think? While I agree that real rescue should not be run like a profit driven business, I do believe it MUST be run like a business. It seems that with our newer "Rescues" the first order of "Business" is to achieve 501(c)(3) status so they can obtain donations. And nothing bothers me more than to see "Rescues" posting pictures online begging for the every day necessities they themselves should have obtained BEFORE acquiring that first horse. I have no problem with Fundraising, and understand that in order to continue to save horses, Rescues must charge fees, but some of these "recues" operating today are nothing more than money making scammers, or hoarders in disguise. There has to be a way to separate the legitimate people from the ones who somehow got the idea that this would be a great way to make a quick buck and own some free horses and make a profit on the side. I fully support the good rescues. Unfortunately, there seem to be less and les of them around, as the ones described in the article continue to take over.

  6. Further we get into the slippery slopes of this debate, legislation needs be in place to deal with "rescues" is the point. Much to the delight of HSUS, PETA, and many others this is a con artist dream career as it stands.

    I will refrain from judging all rescues when rescues refrain from looking at profit as a guarentee the operation treats has no interest in the horses as horses and flinging drama ridden stories out for the purpose of securing donations. Or how does it feel to be lumped into a catagory simply by name and operation? Point number two.

    The "free" price tag sounds nobel but the horses are ofen times put back into production. The rescue queen fugly is a prime example of this..... and it is publicized to boot.......Point three....the rescue system tends, as it stands tends, to enable the breeding of poor quality by people who have no idea what they should be breeding for. If you must rescue spay all mares and geld all colts.

    Save all you can. Niether of likes to kill horses.